The Celebrity Plastic Surgery Approval Matrix

I thought millennial women loved Lisa Simpson

In yesterday’s bonus post, I wrote about the icky feeling I get when I come across TikTok accounts dedicated to gleefully picking apart the appearances of famous women. I sensed that the vitriol against ‘bad’ plastic surgery is worse when the celebrity in question is herself perceived as problematic, which made me wonder about the ultimate aim of using women’s looks as a ‘gotcha’ against their politics. It’s a phenomenon I will call The Celebrity Plastic Surgery Approval Matrix.

From left to right, we have the Subtle to Not Subtle axis. Subtle is inoffensive, quiet, graceful. The actual amount of surgery the celebrity has had does not matter here; what does matter is that the changes are perceived as both gradual and “natural.” In fact, well-done surgery is often applauded and analyzed in order to help the audience determine how to achieve the same results, regardless of whether a celebrity is well-liked (see: Kim Kardashian). The subtle face should appear accessible even when the wealth required to achieve it is not.

Then we have the Well-Liked to Polarizing axis, a completely subjective analysis based purely on my own Twitter feed. This line is much harder to quantify, especially because for female celebrities, “polarizing” and “well-liked” are not mutually-exclusive traits (see: Gwyneth Paltrow). That’s where the Mother Zone comes in, showing the point at which a woman’s looks and likability elevate her beyond polarization into either ironic or full-blown appreciation.

The Mother Zone can also be tested by an optical illusion, such as in the case studies of Jennifer Lawrence and Selena Gomez. When the images on the Approval Matrix of both stars were first released, they each caused a minor panic amongst fans who thought both had gotten irreversibly bad plastic surgery, claims which were then debunked when the stars stepped out days later looking their usual. But whereas users accused Gomez of a desperate attempt to look like Lily Rose Depp—again, it was just makeup and lighting—the reaction to Jennifer Lawrence was one of parasocial betrayal: How could she do this to the rest of us?

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As humans we share a collective impulse to call out wrongdoing and see wrongs made right; however, it’s the grey zones we have trouble with. We rarely stop to check-in with ourselves about where that impulse comes from. Being reminded of the various privileges afforded to those who are already so much farther ahead can trigger the impulse to knock ‘em down a peg, even if it means going after what would otherwise be off-limits: how a woman looks.

This moralization is nothing new. Google “Nicole Kidman third lip” just to see how not-chill the early 2000’s were for female celebrities online. Just look at the past few years and how quickly the mania around spotting Ozempic-use in celebrities has devolved its own bloodsport. Contrast the muted reactions when Oprah openly admitted to using Ozempic to the fury around Mindy Kaling’s refusal to reveal her own weight loss ‘secrets.’ It’s easier to knock the dangerously vapid Gwyneth Paltrow if you can also take a dig at her fried ends. But has any of the incessant commentary actually stopped the cycle of celebrities chasing after—and capitalizing upon—increasingly unattainable beauty standards?

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This brings us to the Perfect Angel Territory: that sweet spot of being well-liked enough that the quality of one’s plastic surgery is either praised, or never mentioned at all. The inverse would be The Danger Zone, where a woman’s unlikability is enough to qualify her looks as fair game for degradation (see: Kylie Jenner).

The Approval Matrix could be five-dimensional if we had the time, because there are even more elements at play that go into deciding whether a celebrity is considered well-liked, their face card considered subtle enough. The consensus on whether someone’s face is overdone is a moving target, with cultural trends being one thing, and historical hindsight being another.

Plus, the element of whether a celebrity is seen as deserving of good things is a significant one (see: Anne Hathaway). And as I mentioned, to be seen as ‘deserving’ often requires simply being ‘authentic’ with the audience. When a celebrity is perceived as ‘non-problematic,’ or ‘authentic,’ a common impulse is to then compliment how good they look ‘for their age.’ But if they start slipping on one front, the public might start picking away at the cracks on the other, too.

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Celebrity worship culture is a series of contradictions, influenced entirely by the social capital of the celebrity in question. In other words, wealth and power is only valuable if it it can exploit itself for its own gain.

The anti-plastic surgery argument is a collectivist one: by rejecting the pressure imparted by social media platforms to hyperanalyze our own faults, we would reject a system which trades on power and exploitation to maintain it. But instead of arguing this point, the anti-surgery proponents are inconsistent on whom they critique and why, falling into the trap of arguing on individualist grounds, through shame and degradation. Don’t do this, or you’ll won’t look youthful anymore. If you don’t look youthful, you won’t be valuable. By being valuable, you’ll ensure your security in the world even if it requires validating yourself through the insecurities of others, even if it’s for eternity. Besides, if it was easy, everyone would do it.

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As

Tracy Clark-Flory

wrote today, the moralization of plastic surgery online has resulted in women posting close-ups of their face on TikTok with a caption about only ageing ‘naturally.’

The moral ideal of an 'untouched' face

On the one hand, it’s beautiful to see women feeling beautiful. On the other hand, it’s still through a morally-virtuous lens, implying there is only one correct way to age, and that making the correct choice imparts beauty in itself. After all, the function of a binary is to define things entirely by what they are not.

I should mention one last important element on the Approval Matrix, and it’s what we see in the top right corner. Miley Cyrus and Megan Fox are still on or around the Mother Zone, but what keeps them out of the virginal Perfect Angel Territory is one key point: their unabashed sexuality. Consider the Madonna and the Whore, one of the most famous binaries of all. Sure, there may be power in taking on one role at the expense of those who choose the other, but the real triumph would be in rejecting the premise of the choice entirely.

As

rayne fisher-quann

wrote on Twitter,

Via.

I wrote last week about how the retreat away from womanhood is also a retreat away from the responsibilities of being a full citizen of the world, and it’s become increasingly clear that the escapism includes a fantasy that tearing each other down can mean saving ourselves in the process:

The Young-Girl craves commodities because through them, “she sees herself, only more perfect.” She never creates anything other than herself, over and over and over again… She is all-powerful, and yet insignificant, because she must always be defined by her own infantilization. Young-Girls must fear death while also constantly endeavouring to cheat it.

The Young-Girl offers ultimate proof of capitalism’s chokehold on our lives, and yet we want to become her anyway.

In the race to the bottom for the project of Young-Girlhood, in which youth itself is colonized, society must simultaneously covet the Young-Girl while also lamenting her behaviour in attaining her status. We choose complicity, becoming active participants in our own surveillance and punishment.

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In “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”—the famous 1995 Simpsons episode in which Lisa purchases a talking version of her favourite doll only to be dismayed by its sexist messaging—Lisa finds herself worrying for a future generation of girls who will be told that self-infantilization is the only way to achieve happiness.

“C’mon Stacy, I’ve waited my whole life to hear you speak. Don’t you have anything relevant to say?” 

She pulls the string, and the doll giggles: “Don’t ask me, I’m just a girl!”